Life As I Blow It

6 Mar

I am a big fan of the modern memoir. By modern, I mean people that are currently alive. I believe you that George Washington was a cool guy, I’m just not interested in his life. I tore through Chelsea Handler’s books, I convinced teachers all throughout high school to let me do various book reports on autobiographies of people like Lucille Ball and Cybill Shepherd, and I am currently in the process of reading Badass by Shannen Doherty and Love, Lust, and Faking It by Jenny McCarthy. Admittedly, Cybill’s book Cybill Disobedience probably had too many stories about sex with Elvis to be appropriate for a 9th grade in-class assignment, but I made it work. Chelsea Handler’s phenomenal My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands was absolutely perfect for my Psychology of Human Sexuality book report in college, though! Fun fact: by Googling to make sure I capitalized the title of the book properly, I learned that “one-night stand” has that hyphen in it.

My idea of a good time

Sometimes I read these books BECAUSE they are terrible, such as Carrie Prejean’s Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks. Instead of learning about these apparent attacks, I was given a detailed description of what shoes Prejean wore, how much she liked or did not like her various hotel rooms and plane seats, and how terrible Donald Trump is (one opinion I can actually get behind). I enjoy reading about people who are still alive and who talk about things that I have some knowledge of, especially when they are completely wrong and I can read and laugh at them.

That is the face of a victim

When I heard Sarah Colonna was going to be writing a book, I was incredibly excited because this was a book I knew would be funny. She is consistently one of my favorites on the Chelsea Lately round table and has gotten even more opportunities to shine in the fake behind-the-scenes show After Lately. I am going to pretend that I’m the reason she wrote a book because I tweeted at her back in May suggesting she write one and she said she had and it was coming out in February. My tweet was likely just the motivation she needed to finish up, clearly. February just so happens to be the same month that my birthday is in, so I appreciate the gift Sarah.

Proof of my influence

I pre-ordered Life As I Blow It and had it sent to my parents’ house because that way they would pay for shipping, and I’m in college and need that money for other activities. I drove home the weekend it arrived to pick it up and was unable to put it down, finishing it in a few short days. I enjoyed the style, with various stories being linked together while remaining stand-alone enough that I could read a chapter or two in between classes. I liked getting the opportunity to learn a little more about Sarah through the ridiculous events that have occurred in her life. If you’ve ever seen her perform, you’ll definitely be reading the book with her voice in your head.

Yes, my parents are proud of me

Her comedy on television works because she seems like she’s having a good time – you laugh because oftentimes she’s laughing, and her book evokes the same response. She is so genuinely good-natured that you can’t help but enjoy it. She does not always have the best taste in companions, but she always has a good attitude and an appropriate amount of sarcasm towards every situation.

I hope that Sarah writes more books in the future, and I truly recommend everyone read this one. Once you’ve finished it, try out You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again by Heather McDonald, another Chelsea Lately regular, and of course read Chelsea’s books if you’re one of the two people left on earth who have yet to read any of them.

The cool thing about Sarah Colonna is that she uses Twitter to share even more comedic gems, while some people put out books and decide they probably shouldn’t say anything ever again in case they want to use it for a future book, so definitely go follow her if you want to laugh completely for free! @sarahcolonna

Random House is sending me a signed bookplate for my copy of Life As I Blow It, so if you want to borrow this book from me do it now or forever hold your peace because none of you are touching it once the bookplate has been affixed. Instead, I recommend you go buy your own copy on Amazon: Life As I Blow It. And none of that used from some seller in Alaska crap, it’s only ten bucks, just buy it. You’re going to want it ASAP so you can start reading it. Spring Break is coming up, and this would make the perfect beach read. You can read chapters while passed out on the beach without too much strain.


One Response to “Life As I Blow It”


  1. Three Reasons Chelsea Handler Should Hire Me « Here Are Things I Like - June 11, 2012

    […] rules. I am a secret sore loser in any game so I will be very sensitive to any Angels losses. Also, a review of your book was one of the very first things I posted on this blog and it still gets me new hits so I owe you […]

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